


Empty

by BeTheSammyToMyDean



Series: Wincest One Shots [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg, Sad Dean Winchester, Sweet Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-12-18 11:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18248618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTheSammyToMyDean/pseuds/BeTheSammyToMyDean
Summary: In hindsight, Sam should have known that Dean didn't go on solo hunts anymore...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Dean got pregnant by someone (because Sam and Dean hadn't been dating yet) and is too afraid to tell his little brother, so instead he goes on a long 'hunt' on his own. Sadly the baby doesn't survive, and the boys start dating but Dean never takes his shirt off anymore, which is weird for him...

In hindsight, Sam should have known that Dean didn't go on solo hunts anymore.

The boys were both over twenty years old now, old enough to make their own decisions and take care of themselves. They didn't need each other anymore, didn't need John anymore to help them with everything. Sam had returned from Stanford just a few weeks ago, and everything was different, everything was strange. There was tension between the two brothers now. New, undiscovered feelings that they had never felt before had blossomed during Sam's absence. They weren't the way they were before Sam had left, before Sam had chosen normal over Dean. They weren't as close as they had been, or maybe a different kind of close. 

Of course, Sam knew that he had hurt his big brother a lot by leaving, but to be honest Sam had just done it for himself. Sure, you could call that selfish, but Sam wouldn't call it anything like that. He had just wanted his normal, his white picket fence and his dog and his normal job. Never once in his life had Sam wanted to have a job like this- if it even could be called that. To Sam it always was something that he was forced to do by John, and sometimes even by Dean who was just daddy's little soldier. What kind of job even was it? It was just running for his life, and killing, digging up bodies, setting stuff on fire. It was dangerous, insane, nothing that Sam wanted to do. 

But then Dean came to him, asking him for help. Dean never asked for help, and Sam hardly thought twice about joining Dean again. Sure, it was his intention to just find dad and then go back to Stanford and Jess, but... Well, we all know what happened. He was back to hunting, and everything was weird between the two brothers. Dean had changed during Sam's time away. Sam couldn't really put his finger on it, but it just seemed that he was even more focused on the job.  _Saving people, hunting things, all that crap._ To Dean it probably was a normal job, since he never even questioned John. Maybe that was why Sam didn't really question it when Dean told him that he needed to leave for a hunt that would last a few months at least, and that he would do the hunt all by himself. Sure, Sam had put in some protesting. Hell, he had even thrown in his best puppy eyes because hunting on his own was dangerous. Nothing worked, though, and Dean left Sam behind in a motel in a town with the order to not follow him unless Dean told him to. Dean told Sam that he needed to stay behind to make sure the witches they had hunted down didn't return.

And maybe in hindsight Sam should have known that dead witches couldn't just come back, either...

 

**.... Sixteen months earlier ....**

Dean sipped his whiskey, putting the glass back down after swallowing. The strong liquid burned down his throat, settling nice and warm in his stomach. He sighed, running a hand over his face. He was tired. Exhausted, even. It had been days since he got a clue, and hell, he hadn't heard anything from John either. It was hopeless. He had no idea why his father even sent him on this hunt, it seemed like everything lead he followed just came to a dead end. Every single time he thought he got something on whatever he was looking for, he bumped into another wall of nothingness. He didn't even know what monster he was running after. Honestly, all this hunt was doing was drive him insane and he absolutely hated it. He felt like a failure. If John had been the one doing this hunt, he would have probably solved it within hours. And Dean hadn't even come close to fixing it in days.

Maybe he was just thrown off his game. It was the anniversary of Sam leaving him for Stanford, and Dean was still kind of expecting him to just walk into the bar with his famous little dimples and his:  _'so get this'_. Dean missed him, even though he would never admit that. No chick flick moments, after all.

"Troubles?"

The oldest Winchester brother nearly shot up from his seat at the bar, barely holding back from grabbing his gun from the waistband of his pants. He had been so lost in his thoughts on the case that he hadn't even heard someone moving to sit next to him (what a great hunter, huh?). Look, he was just in the most annoying town ever. Sure, he had met some irritating people in his life but these people? Yeah, Dean wanted to kill every each one of them. By now, six days since his arrival, he was starting to believe that there wasn't even anything wrong here. Maybe the townspeople just made everything up, since the 'hauntings' did bring a few tourists to the small town and with tourists came money. It wouldn't be the first town to do it for fame.

"It's nothing, just some stupid work related things," Dean said to the man who had interrupted his thoughts, which he was kind of grateful for. The longer he would be thinking, the more depressed he would feel. Dean drank the last of his whiskey, watching as the man leaned over the bar to get the attention of the girl working behind it, the one who could use a little bit less cleavage. Don't get Dean wrong, he loved boobs, but there was a thin line between classy and slutty and the barmaid had crossed it. Dean studied the man, eyeing his dark and curly hair, his dark eyes, and his muscled build. He was around the same height as Dean was, but his muscles were  bigger. Didn't mean he would win in a fight, Dean was a hunter from the age of four, after all. The man was very attractive, and Dean was definitely not going to pass up the opportunity to flirt a little. Anything to get his mind off the hunt, huh? He grinned as the man slid a glass of whiskey over to Dean, and he grabbed it to take a sip. "Thanks, dude."

"Wanna talk about your problems? Or did you just come here to forget?" The man looked at Dean, all dark eyes and dark hair. Dean definitely had something for dark.

"I came here to hopefully find someone who could distract me," Dean said, licking his lips after taking another sip of whiskey. He knew that he was pretty himself, with his full lips and his cheekbones and his eyes. He could get pretty much  _anyone_ he wanted with his looks and his charms, and he knew it. Dean used it to his advantage too, which anyone with a brain would do. Hello, do you even know how much free stuff Dean could get with just the right look? "What's your name?"

"Tyler," The man said, shaking Dean's hand. It felt a little strange to be so formal with someone who would have his cock up Dean's ass in a little, but, hey. Dean wasn't going to let that turn him off. Dean shook his hand, drank the last of his whiskey, and leaned closer to Tyler. He was pretty tipsy already, even though he could hold his liquor very well. He just wanted to get laid, to get his mind off every shitty little thing that had been happening. This hunt, Sam leaving him for some stuck up fancy college, dad not talking to him- it had taken a toll on Dean and he just wanted to forget. "Anywhere you're staying?"

Dean's grin widened and he nodded, eyes now dark with want and lust. He just wanted to forget about his failures, and this guy was going to make him do exactly that. But, maybe he shouldn't have been tipsy, and maybe he should have paid more attention to Tyler's dick as he put it inside of him, because the lack of condom was the beginning of something he would rather forget as well...

 

**.... Four months after Tyler ....**

Dean couldn't believe it. He had taken  _seven_ different pregnancy tests, stared at all of them for ten minutes separately, but still they all had confirmed what he had been fearing: he was pregnant. Dean had  _never_ wanted anything like this to happen, because how could he ever raise a baby? He was a hunter, and that was no life for anyone to grow up in. He was not going to raise any child the way he and Sam had been raised. No one deserved to be brought up that way. Dean knew how much it hurt, and he wasn't going to let any child of his' go through that- or any child at all.

There was only one option left: he had to get rid of the child.

For a brief second Dean was filled with hope, until reality came crashing down on him again. Not only was he going to find a state in which it would be legal to have an abortion (because some countries are just fucked up that way), it was also too late. Four months, the baby was too developed. Unless he or the child were in grave danger, they weren't going to help him. Which meant that the only option he had left was to carry out the pregnancy and then put the baby up for adoption. Dean wasn't opposed to that idea, at least it would have loving parents and a better life than Dean would ever be able to give him. The only thing that worried him was how he was supposed to make it through a whole pregnancy without Sam figuring it out. Right now it just looked like he was getting chubby (which he could totally pull off, by the way), but soon he was going to get a big, pregnant belly. 

He couldn't believe this was happening. There was no way in hell he was going to tell Sam what had happened with Tyler, or that he was pregnant. No, he was going to have to do this on his own. No matter what happened, he could not tell Sam. The youngest Winchester would  _never_ understand, he would never allow Dean to go outside on his own ever again. He would think that Dean was stupid for getting pregnant, but it wasn't like it was  _just_ Dean's fault, right? No, Tyler was responsible too. But Dean wasn't going to dwell on that. He had to take action, and figure out what to do to hide it from Sam. It was going to be hard, of course, since his belly would only grow bigger over time. Though after a few days of thinking, Dean finally managed to come up with something that seemed like the best idea at that moment: he was going to tell Sam that he needed to go on a long solo hunt. Sam wouldn't follow him, and Dean could go on his own to the fake hunt, wait out his pregnancy, give birth, and put the baby up for adoption before returning to Sam.

But hey, things were never that easy in the life of a Winchester, huh?

When Dean told Sam that he was leaving, Sam tried to convince him that he needed to join Dean because it would be stupid to hunt on his own, but Dean wasn't going to let him. No, not this time. He couldn't, because that would ruin everything. Of course, there wasn't even a hunt so he wouldn't be in danger. Dean was just going to a nice motel and take care of his baby while he was pregnant. Even though he never actually wanted to have a child, he still knew that he was responsible and that he needed to take care of the kid. It was innocent, and it didn't deserve to get hurt.

After a few arguments, Dean finally packed his bag and left for the town. Sam stayed behind after Dean convinced him that one of them had to stay behind to make sure that the witches they had hunted down before didn't come back. The youngest Winchester brother believed the lie, and didn't follow Dean. It filled Dean with relief, but also with nerves. As he stared at the road in front of him while he drove, he couldn't help but feel slightly terrified. He was pregnant, and all alone. No one was there to help him, Dean was going to have to do this all alone. He was strong, though, and he felt like he could do this. And yes, he would've been able to do it, if everything had gone right. But, the universe hated Dean, and nothing could have prepared him for the pain that came with the pregnancy...

 

**.... Eight months after Dean left for the hunt ....**

Dean was home again. He'd been home for three months now. Well, it wasn't exactly home. It was a motel, and Dean would never call any of those dirty places home, but wherever Sam was, was home. So, when he got back to Sam, he felt like everything would be okay again. Sam asked questions about the hunt, of course, but Dean had rehearsed this all. He knew exactly what to say, and what to do, and eventually Sam stopped asking.

Sam saw that Dean had changed in some way, he seemed sad somehow, empty. It was kind of creepy, and definitely concerning. But Dean didn't talk, and Sam never expected him to open up about what had made him so sad. Even when they got together, because they did, Dean didn't talk about what happened to him. And yes, they started dating. 

It was Sam who started it. There wasn't really anything romantic, just a tipsy kiss at the motel a week after Dean came back, emotions having so big of an impact on them that they couldn't help themselves. After the kiss, they talked a little for a while before they decided that this was pretty much the way it should have been, and that they kind of always had known they would end up together. Yes, it was a little weird at first, but eventually they figured out that they could just continue the same way but then with kissing and cuddling.

There was no sex, though. Dean never took off his clothes, which confused Sam  _a lot._ Dean never seemed to have any problems being without clothes before he left on his solo hunt, so why the hell did he never take off his clothes aside from when he was alone in the bathroom? He even slept in full pajamas, which was so unlike Dean who always slept in boxers. Sam kept getting more and more concerned. He  _had_ to know what was wrong with Dean, one way or another, because he needed to make sure that he could make Dean happy again. Dean deserved to be happy.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean looked up, walking out of the bathroom in his flannel (yes, flannel) pajamas, moving over to their shared bed. His eyes were less shiny and sparkly than they always had been, his cheeks less rosy. It was scary. "What's up, Sammy?"

"Are you okay?" Sam softly asked, his voice so gentle that Dean just swallowed, sitting down on the bed and nodding. But Sam knew that his big brother wasn't okay, definitely not. Sam had to keep pressing, because this was the only way to ever get to know what was wrong with Dean. "Dean, I know you're not. Something happened while you were gone, and it's the reason why you're so sad and why you won't take your clothes off anymore. Please, Dean, I can help you. Please let me know what's wrong?"

"I... Sam, I can't," Dean rasped out, suddenly having tears in his eyes. Shit, Sam might've gone to far, but he needed to know what was wrong to be able to make his brother feel better. "You'll hate me forever."

"Of course I won't. Dean, I love you. I love you no matter what, okay? I promise, and I'll never think differently of you. I just want to know what's wrong so I can make you feel better." Sam pulled Dean into his arms, hugging him tightly. He had to make Dean happy again, if it was the last thing he did. Dean deserved it.

"Okay," Dean whispered, finally admitting to himself that maybe he should tell Sam for his own sanity and happiness. Sam wouldn't hate him, he couldn't. "I didn't leave for a hunt," He paused, licking his lips, trying to stop his hands from shaking. "There was no hunt. A few months ago, well... A year or so ago, I met someone at a bar. We fucked, and... He didn't use a condom, and I got pregnant, and I was too afraid to tell you. Then uh, then I left for the hunt, and when I gave birth... The baby died. The cord it... It was wrapped around her neck, and she choked to death... They buried her and, well, all I have left of her is a big, nasty scar down my stomach."

"Oh Dean," Sam breathed out, pulling Dean closer, kissing his head gently. "I'm so sorry... That must've been horrible to go through all alone. Don't worry, okay? I'm going to help you, you're not alone anymore. I'm here, I'll always be here."

Dean cried a lot that night, but in the end, he actually felt better. Telling Sam somehow made him feel good, he felt relieved. He wasn't alone anymore, Sam would always be there. Always. And Dean was happy, even though there was still an emptiness inside of him. He loved Sam, Sam loved him, and for the first time in his life Dean felt like everything was going to be okay again...


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to do a second chapter to give it some more of a happy ending, so, that's what I'm going to do. I live to please. It's not going to be long though, sorry for that.

Dean sighed, leaning down to put down the rose before he straightened again. He was exhausted. They had been driving all day long, and it had taken a toll on Dean's body and mind. He felt a hand on his back, a big, strong hand that helped him straighten up and stand. It had gotten a little harder for him now, he was heavier at the front than he was at the back, and he was far enough along that it was taking a toll on his body.

Yes, he was pregnant again. He couldn't be happier about it, and Sam felt the same. Sure, Dean had lost his first child, but now he wasn't alone. Sam was taking care of him, and they had quit hunting immediately. They had taken some time between the miscarriage and the new pregnancy, because Dean needed time to heal- both mentally and physically. He couldn't just go on and get pregnant after immediately. No, it took him around two years before even coming close to the idea of getting another child. 

Dean was terrified at first. His first pregnancy went wrong, and he was so scared that with this pregnancy it would go wrong as well. They decided that neither of them should continue hunting, they needed to take care of the baby. They needed to be able to give this baby the best chances and the best opportunities, and that wasn't possible when they were hunters. So, they quit hunting. They still helped other hunters, but didn't go out into the action anymore. It was too dangerous, and Sam didn't want to leave Dean on his own, or have their baby be an orphan. Sam took great care of Dean, too. Honestly, he was an amazing boyfriend. He cooked, gave Dean foot and back massages-- he just made Dean happy, and made sure that Dean was doing perfect.

Every time they went to see the doctor, the baby was doing perfect. Nothing was going wrong this time, the last time had just been a horrible accident. Maybe due to stress, maybe due to Dean not taking good enough care of himself. He still felt sadness inside, he missed his baby terribly much, but that didn't mean that he couldn't be happy anymore. No, he knew he was going to be happy with Sam and their baby. And even though he was never going to forget his first child, he was not going to be sad about it forever and let it run his life. Dean was going to be happy again, happy with Sam and with their child.

"You're going to be a big sister, honey. I know, weird huh? Daddy's pregnant again, and it's amazing.... I love you so much, sweetheart. I'm gonna tell your little brother or sister about you, and- and I still have that picture they took of you. I'm wearing a copy of it in my necklace. I'm never going to forget you, okay? Never. I promise. I love you, and I always will... My beautiful, perfect family..."


End file.
